Fall is in full swing, book fans! Whether you love curling up by the fireplace with a pulpy spy novel or just playing the Netflix “Fireplace for Your Home (Birchwood Edition)” on your iPhone while googling a plot summary of that book you forgot to read for your book club, fall is the perfect season to pretend to read something longer than a Medium post.

Not sure where to begin? Don’t worry: We’ve collected this list of the 11 books you absolutely can’t miss being Instagrammed with while you wait to pick up that Pumpkin Spice Latte you pre-ordered in the app so no one would hear you ask for 12 pumps of pumpkin syrup.

The Venus Fly Trap

American writer Rachel Andross follows up her breakthrough novel “That One Fire Juggler at the Circus, You Know? What Was His Name?” with this heavy-hitting look at life inside one of the world’s most inhospitable prisons: A carnivorous plant.

Pink Noise

Inspired by the late Don DeLillo’s masterwork, this book upends the literary establishment by making its protagonist a sustained piercing tone.

The Death of Some Other American Institution You Can’t Even Begin To Fathom The Importance Of

Pulitzer Prize winner Ronan Farrow follows up his book “War on Peace” with this breezy beach read about how we’re all going to die any minute now (but not for the reasons you’d expect!).

The President Is Missing But Everyone Keeps Thinking This Is A Work Of Fiction And Honestly It’s Very Frustrating For Us

Novelist James Patterson and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton teamed up for this sure-fire bestseller about a country run by a cat who keeps walking across the keyboard of the President’s laptop, resulting in incomprehensible policies like “asjkdbnflzerbhiojl” and “arresting children at the border.”

And Now I Am Seen: A Memoir

The devastating true story about one man’s stay at a New York hotel that he naturally assumed had one-way windows.

Kindle-ing

An Amazon Prime exclusive, this 728-page tome is made out of the finest wood-pulp paper, guaranteed to burn in any indoor fireplace. Are there words on the page? Yes, but they’re just special offers for a free trial of Audible.

Through the French Doors

This sizzling international romance is actually just one couple’s remodeling plans that were accidentally recorded, edited, and published by their Alexa.

The Heart Is A Lonely Handgun

Adapted from an unfinished short story by famous southern novelist Cleveland McCrueller, this book is a gothic coming-of-age tale about a pair of bright young Glocks.

My Fan Fic of Harry and Meghan Markle’s Honeymoon

Come for the hardcore royal sex, stay for the delightful banter over brunch!

White People Problems: Winner of Several Tony Awards

The script for this hit Broadway play transports the audience (and the reader!) to the long-ignored world of wealthy white families struggling to keep their dark secrets hidden (especially during a holiday and/or dinner party).

A Pile Of Papers Someone Pulled Out Of The Trash At Kinkos

Critics call this book “a self-published masterpiece” and for once they mean it literally: This book was pieced together from the discarded manuscripts of over a dozen failed writers who all converged on one Chicago-area FedEx/Kinkos to print their novels, only to realize they’d just written Fight Club (or they ran out of printer credits before the final chapter).