I don’t buy this business
About 50 being the new 40.

It’s an excuse,
when the AARP card shows up.

I’m not old;
I am PRIVILEGED.
I am a smart shopper now.
I get 20% off at Olive Garden.

Please tell me.
Why does the Cialus couple never share a tub?
Why do they bathe side by side?
In separate tubs?

Isn’t that the purpose of Cialus,
to get rid of the separate tubs and bedrooms?

Where does all that water drain?
Where is the towel rack?
Where are their robes?

Oh my children, there’s no going gentle
into the dermatologist’s office
for that Botox shot.

It hurts.
A lot.

And when that perfect Pilates instructor
in her $100 Lululemon pants
puts you on the rack
to get rid of your menopause midsection spread
I can assure you, that hurts too.

I will not go gently
into the days of elastic waist pants.
I will rage against the dying of my hormones.

In fact, when I am 85
I will slam a hole in the podiatrist’s wall
with my tennis ball walker
and scream at the top of my lungs

Keith Richards rules!