When they have free time – when not skulking in shadows, spreading disease, gnawing, or reproducing – rats enjoy talking amongst themselves. So it was with the three rats, Ed, Fred, and Rattus…
Ed: Have you ever thought of being something else?
Fred: Do you mean like a sewer rat? Or a black rat?
They were brown rats, sometimes known as house rats.
Ed: No, I meant other than a rat.
Fred: How about a weasel?
Ed: Weasels aren’t so bad.
Fred: Well, how about a dung beetle?
Ed: Not bad, either.
Rattus: I thought of being a hippopotamus once.
Fred: They’re gross and fat.
Ed: And they don’t leave much room for anyone else.
A world of hippos would be an awfully cramped place.
Rattus: Okay, how about a human being?
Ed: Rattus, what’s with you?
Rattus: I’m sorry.
Fred: Sometimes I wonder about you, too, Rattus. Weren’t hippos bad enough?