- For my parents. Thanks for the generational trauma.
- For my sister. I want my red sweatshirt back.
- For my brother. Who’s lame now?
- For my grandma. I’m sorry I didn’t call more.
- For my grandpa. Rot in hell.
- For my friends. Thanks for pretending to like the early drafts of this novel.
- For my partner. Thanks for doing the absolute bare minimum.
- For my high school writing teacher. I SparkNote-d The Great Gatsby.
- For my college writing teacher. I SparkNote-d Frankenstein.
- For my editor. I still don’t know how to use a comma properly.
- For my coworkers. I was doing this instead of my job.
- For my fellow writers and novelists. I can’t relate to you at all.
- For my readers. Please read this so I can make rent.
- For my haters. Don’t tank my Goodreads rating.
- For you. I have no idea who “you” are.
Little Old Lady Comedy 