1. Did they say they would call you and haven’t? Y/N
2. Did they say you had a “great connection”? Y/N
3. Did they accept you when you told them your biggest flaws? Y/N
4. Did they promise you money/gifts/vacations/other benefits? Y/N
5. Did you go around meeting everyone in their family/friend group/company food chain then post a photo on instagram/linkedin of someone else? Y/N
6. Did they compliment you and love bomb you at every meeting making you feel safe and desired but then you found out they wanted to explore other candidates? Y/N
7. Did they fuck you? Y/N/Metaphorically
8. Was the last time you heard from them over three weeks ago?Y/N
9. And you still think you have a chance? Y/N
10. Are you stupid? Y/N
11. Have you followed up via email? Y/N
12. Pathetic.

Mostly Y: Download an app… Indeed, Hinge, whatever. Either way your life is over.

Mostly N: Must be nice. Little miss “I have a career and/or a relationship.” Good for you! I’m happy for you, we’re all sooooo happy for you!