- Someone with shaggy hair who works as a barista, but is writing a novel on the side
- Someone with an HBO Go password
- Someone really into brunch
- Someone petty (so I can get over my fear of fighting)
- Someone who’s really good at photography and has a particular favorite subject (me, duh)
- Someone really good at sex (duh)
- Someone so bad at sex that I will appreciate mediocre sex
- Someone with medical training (while I’m in between primary care providers)
- Someone who writes songs about me
- Someone to post matching, disgustingly-sweet facebook posts with
- Someone who swore off social media when it was still possible to do that without having life altering FOMO
- Someone whose mom likes me more than them
- Someone whose family I can fight with (so I can get over my fear of brawls)
- Someone with a Costco membership (so I can prep for the apocalypse)
- Someone really into meal prepping
- Someone who can hang upside-down from a spider web while we kiss in an alley
- Someone who was first in line for the throne until their older brother had a son and has hatched a plot to kill said brother and force their nephew to run off and start a new life with a meerkat and a warthog.
- Someone who lives in an old mansion and has seduced an innocent engaged couple on a dark and stormy night, all while secretly being an alien.
Little Old Lady Comedy 