I. Even the icky slug

Pines for a mate

Nary a shell to hide in

When turned down for a date

II. Behold the stressed hippopotamus

Anxious even when in repose

She could in fact, be one of us

Gnawing at nails and toes

III. Like us, the salty crab

Casts eyes at its fellow crustaceans:

Bobbing from tide to tide

Longing for fornication

IV. See the echidna

That worrisome monotreme fidgeter

Gazing in the mirror

And wishing she were prettier