Her name was LiLo, she was in Mean Girls

With burning fire in her hair and a metallic jumpsuit’s glare

She made up dance moves, ones that went viral

When she became a fallen star

She invested in a bar

It is in Mykonos, and it is kind of gross

But there’s a reality show with lots of bros,

Isn’t that just how it goes?

 

At the Lohan (Lo!), the Lohan Beach Club

The strangest spot you’ve ever heard of

At the Lohan (Lo!), the Lohan Beach Club

Basics and DJs and probably some BJs

At the Lohan, they got real drunk

 

(Lohan, Lohan Beach Cluuub)

 

There’s Freaky Friday

And, yikes, The Canyons

Sure, The Parent Trap was fine, but Georgia Rule was where she shined

And when she faded, she moved to Russia

But Greece was always in her heart

And she had the business smarts

Plus plastic surgery, how hard could nightlife be?

There was blood and jello shots

And an “Opa,” baby!

 

At the Lohan (Lo!), the Lohan Beach Club

The strangest spot you’ve ever heard of

At the Lohan (Lo!), the Lohan Beach Club

Fake marble and driftwood and guidos that look good

At the Lohan, you’ll meet a dud

 

(Lohan, Lohan Beach Cluuub)

(Lohan, Lohan Beach Cluuub)

 

Her name is LiLo, she was an actress

But that was 15 years ago, before she kind of went loco

Now it’s a beach club, but not for LiLo

In that silver jumpsuit she stays,

Dreaming of the “Rumors” days

She dances for the ‘gram, surrounded by old fans

“This is how you throw a party in Mykonos, bitch!”

Shouts her own hype man

 

At the Lohan (Lo!), the Lohan Beach Club

The strangest spot you’ve ever heard of

At the Lohan (Lo!), the Lohan Beach Club

Trance songs and tube tops and beats that just don’t stop

At the Lohan, you’ll cut a rug

And then you’ll shrug

 

(Lohan Beach Cluuub)

(Lohan Beach Cluuub)