- Help me lose 10 lbs
- Clear my skin up
- Enable me to poop every morning for the rest of my life
- Take my laptop to the Apple Store
- Play nicely in my belly with all the fries I ate last night.
- Clamp down on everything giving me Acid Reflux
- Find me a boyfriend
- Get me a raise
- Tell my landlord to back off.
- There’s some kind of poop on my windowsill –maybe a pigeon’s, maybe mine, can you take care of it?
- Remind Nancy to stop bitching about her boyfriend.
- Adopt a puppy for me, but help me hide it in my apartment so I’m not evicted.
- Call my mom
- Impeach Trump
- World Peace (I’ll admit this one is a bit of a stretch — I’m open to eating a snip of parsley this morning if that’ll really fix this whole ISIS situation).
Little Old Lady Comedy 