Compliment: You have no idea how beautiful you are.
Translation: You’re attractive but your appearance isn’t your entire identity? I’m confused.

Compliment: You’re so easy to be around.
Translation: Where’s the drama where’s the drama where’s the drama???

Compliment: You know how to dress sexy without showing too much skin.
Translation: You’re hot but I wish you dressed like a whore sometimes, especially around my parents.

Compliment: You’re a saint.
Translation: You’re way too good for me and you’re going to realize it eventually FUUUUUUUCK!

Compliment: This is the best sex I’ve ever had.
Translation: This is the best sex I’ve ever had and I’m pretty sure it’s because I just finally got good at it but I should sleep with several other girls to confirm.

Compliment: [Insert name of friend or family member] loved you.
Translation: I’m worried [insert name of friend or family member] wants to fuck you.

Compliment: You’re not like other girls.
Translation: I’m constructing a completely unrealistic image of you in mind that will crumble the second you question any of my behavior, at which point I’ll say you’re just as crazy as my ex-girlfriend.

Compliment: I really respect you.
Translation: I wish you dressed like a whore sometimes, especially around my parents.

Compliment: You’re pretty funny.
Translation: You’re funnier than me FUUUUUUUCK!

Compliment: You’re so smart.
Translation: You’re smarter than me FUUUUUUUCK!

Compliment: You’re gorgeous.
Translation: I’m dating a beautiful woman. Suck it, middle school bullies!