Ugh, my friend is the worst! She like dragged me to Napa last weekend just because she is “getting married. Ew.

All my friends are the worst worst worst!! They just like bitch and moan about like their jobs and wine and parties! Get a life! Like, have some fun sometimes. Don’t just talk constantly about parties.

Hahah, this bracelet? I got it from my friend. She bought it at Tiffany’s – she’s kind of the worst. Who shops at Tiffany’s? So gauche. She gave it to me as a graduation present. Well, my dog graduated from training school. I guess I should give it to my dog, but he’d just eat it.

My friend who is the worst is just like so pretty. It sucks – don’t you just hate pretty people, even if they’re really nice and you’re also pretty?

She’s awful! Stop being an organ donor, no one wants your dumb liver, Stacy!

My friend is the worst! She’s always like, “are you seeing anyone? Let me set you up with this hot rich nice normal guy.” And I’m like “you are THE WORST.” I mean, who wants that.

She’s the worst! The worst the worst the worst!

Ugh, you’re so lucky you don’t have any friends.