- Incapable of starting any conversation with anything but, “Have you heard of MoviePass?”
- Suddenly ok with going to the movies alone every night
- Fine with watching random documentary about a septic tank, alone
- Happy to be subjected to ambush Q&A while high a f
- Unable to feel guilty about leaving Phantom Thread 20 minutes in
- Incapable of being friends with people who do not have moviepass
- Suddenly riveted by the ups and downs of movie pass as a company, and eager to discuss said ups and downs in every conversation
- Anxious to watch movies that are seemingly unrelated to any of my interests whatsoever
- Ok with living off of diet of popcorn, ice cream sandwiches, and twizzlers
- Ok with writing off said foods on my taxes under “performer research”
- Unashamed to suggest going to the movies in the face of any conversational lull
- Cool with signing up for DocNYC Club under several different emails to get free popcorn
- Fine with being found out by Doc NYC representative, and having to forego said free popcorn
- Oddly comforted by teenage couples sloppy J.O. session in back row during opening credits
- Okay with falling asleep publicly in theater
- Okay with burping and farting midday in theater
- Okay with masturbating in the back of the theater
- Okay with fact that movie pass will probably go bankrupt in next few years
- Fine with milking movie pass for all it’s worth until imminent collapse
Little Old Lady Comedy 