- Shut the fuck up
- Shop until you drop
- Get your nails done!
- Tell a long, pointless story about your friend Jennifer
- Apologize
- Think about the likelihood that you’ll never have a child and start crying in public
- Stand there and look pretty
- Cook something elaborate but DO NOT EAT IT
- Make just a little less money
- Watch a Lifetime movie
- Watch a Hallmark movie
- Watch a Nancy Meyers movie
- Spend a few hours looking at photos of Ryan Gosling
- Go to Pilates
- Text him even if he never texted you back
- Laugh whenever a man tells a joke
- Treat the women in your life very well, just as you (hopefully) do every other day of the year!
- SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
Little Old Lady Comedy 