Everyone knows the hardest part of writing is not online shopping for three hours instead. For example, just this morning, I sat down to write a new piece for this site. Once I turned on my computer, however, I noticed an email from one of my favorite stores. I clicked on the email. Three hours later, I realized I had written nothing. I had, however, found a bunch of shit I want to buy.

Since I never got around to writing anything, I’m going to instead share with you the things I want that I cannot under any circumstances afford to buy.

I’m thinking of getting into tracksuits this spring. This is the best one I found, but Umbro foolishly doesn’t make matching pants!

But maybe these would work with that jacket? I can’t tell.

Should I even get into tracksuits? I can’t tell anymore.

Yes, I’m shopping at Urban Outfitters again, which probably means I’m having an EXTREMELY PREMATURE midlife crisis.

“But Mary,” you’re probably thinking. “Don’t you already have enough sweatshirts?” The answer to that question is never.

I’ve never bought anything from Glossier but my sister has this lipstick and it’s so good. It’s not even that I want it — I need it. Which is why I bought it, along with one other shade (Zip) whoops!

I mean, look at these coveralls. They were made for me, unless they don’t fit at all (which is likely), in which case they were made for someone else with great taste.

This is just a short version of that last jumpsuit so obviously I need it too.

Yes, I have at least four shirts that look exactly like this but this one is different, I swear.

They’re onsale. True, I have the same jeans in five different washes but…they’re onsale.

These would look great with those jeans.

I bought these. Whoops.