9. Toby

Why he sucks: Toby has no backbone. He does whatever Kate wants even though she’s always an emotional mess. All his jokes are bad. He wears a lot of fedoras. He’s literally the most annoying character in the history of television. Etc.

Why he’s cool: But he loves her!

8. Jack

Why he sucks: Why does he touch his kids so much? He literally always has his hand on one of the smalls of their backs. Also, why is he such a whiny little selfish bitch? Also SPOILER ALERT the reason he dies is very lame.

Why he’s cool: He’s hot. Extremely hot. Also SPOILER ALERT he dies.

7. Kate

Why she sucks: She’s a little one-note. Also, she’s emotional all the time. Also it’s unclear how she and Toby have any money. Also, she’s not fat enough as a teenager for the audience to convincingly believe her whole identity her whole life has been being fat. Also, how is she already a professional singer?

Why she’s cool: But the food addicts anonymous meetings are so compelling!

6. Kevin

Why he sucks: He’s not a very good person or actor. It’s really dumb that he wants the ‘Manny’ to be a high-quality show. Also, him getting back together with this high school sweetheart was so random.

Why he’s cool: He’s so hot. Plus it’s fun when he’s at LA parties.

5. Rebecca

Why she sucks: Why does she flare her nostrils so much?

Why she’s cool: She’s so pretty! Even as an old lady.

4. Randall

Why he sucks: Why does everything he says to Deja have to be like a deep emotional lesson?

Why he’s cool: He’s maybe the only good actor on the show. Also, hot. I like his glasses.

3. William

Why he sucks: That acting.

Why he’s cool: The moral heart and soul of the show. Also SPOILER ALERT he dies.

2. Beth

Why she sucks: Do she and Randall ever talk about anything that is not extremely emotionally heavy?

Why she’s cool: She’s smart and strong and funny. And so hot!

1. 10-year-old Randall

Why he sucks: Nah, he’s perfect. Those ears?

Why he’s cool: Ugh so cute.